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what's your favorite way to get out of a bad date? mine is putting my head on the table and pretending to be asleep until they leave
2 hours ago -
godbless you if you preordered, my damn book is on its way https://t.co/QcJ2oSEEAE
3 hours ago -
went to my 7-eleven and a man was standing out front squeezing water in his eyes "to combat the eclipse hangover"
5 hours ago -
when despite my better judgment i stared directly at the eclipse https://t.co/U4CLhoYbtJ
7 hours ago -
so stressed out about accidentally blinding myself that i yelled when i accidentally looked at my desk lamp
8 hours ago -
i'd like to go home from work and stare deeply into my dogs eyes for the duration of the eclipse
9 hours ago
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